Not Good Enough Anymore
by lalalathisisme
Summary: Julian tells Logan he's not good enough and Logan doesn't understand.


**A/N: I do not own the characters, they belong to the lovely CP Coulter, and I also do not own Glee. I also don't own the song nor the musical it came from, Zanna, Don't!**

_"WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS LEAVING ME. I NEED YOU HERE. YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND JULES."_  
><em>"WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME ANYMORE."<em>

_"GOOD ENOUGH? JULES-"_

He never got to finish. Julian had run out of the room before Logan had the chance to ask him what he meant by "not good enough." But that was yesterday. Logan was up all night tossing and turning trying to figure out what was wrong with Julian. And finally he had had enough.

Logan brushed Derek off after class and went in search of Julian. Logan needed to find out why he wasn't good enough anymore. As he walked down the hallway, he passed Warbler hall and heard the sounds of piano coming out. Curious, Logan quietly opened the door, and stood in the doorway watching Julian singing at the piano, unaware that anyone was listening, and more importantly, that someone was finally hearing him.

_Do you know what it's like_

_To be in love with you,_

_To have my heart still love you_

_When my mind knows it's not true?_

_Do you know what it's like_

_To be in love with you,_

_Not to remember what my life was like_

_Before I first met you?_

And then it hit Logan.** Julian is in love with me.**

_Do you know what it's like when I lie in bed_

_And I think of you and the things you've said,_

_How they're almost exactly all the things that I've said, too?_

_But there's one word missing and it comes before 'love?_

_And I think it doesn't matter, what we have is enough,_

_But what we have isn't in so I don't know what to do?_

_Oh, do you know?_

Oh my god. Julian was in love with him. Logan wasn't sure how to take this. Granted, he had had a slight crush on Julian freshman year, but that was before he found out that Julian was straight, well back when he thought Julian was straight. Logan pushed himself off the door frame and shut the door, picking up where Julian had stopped singing.

_Do you know what it's like_

_Not to be in love with you,_

_Not to have my heart obey_

_What my mind wants to be true?_

Logan made his way across the room. Julian continued playing the piano, but refused to look at Logan. Finally Logan sat down next to Julian on the piano bench.

_Do you know what it's like_

_Not to be in love with you,_

_But to like you, love you, cherish you,_

_idolize you and protect you?_

Logan brought his hand up to Julian's face and pulled his face towards him, pressing their foreheads together. He could see the tears welling in Julian's eyes.

_Do you know what it's like to look into your eyes_

_And see what I know you don't see in mine_

_Though I pray it might be so the whole night through._

Julian pulled his head back and out of Logan's reach.

_Do you know what it's like_

_to have to let go of your hand_

_and to start another life, a life I don't understand,_

_and live the rest of my life knowing how much I've hurt you?_

_Oh, do you know?_

Julian stopped playing the piano. "So I guess you know now."

"Jules. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Why would I tell you? You obviously don't feel the same way."

"Because I never had the chance to."

"I'm still leaving."

"You don't have to."

"Yes I do."

"Jules-"

Julian started playing again.

_I know I'll never find your lovin' in anyone else,_

_Though I'll try'oh, and I'll try?_

_And I know I'll never find your smile in anyone else,_

_Though I'll try'oh, and I'll try?_

_If someone were to come up to me_

_and say that they knew how_

_to love you better, I'd say,'Buddy,_

_step into the ring you're going down.?_

_I'd fight a guy for you. I'd fight a girl for you._

_I'd fight myself, you know I would,_

_If I thought it'd do any good._

_Oh, do you know?_

Logan leaned in and softly kissed Julian, cutting him off. For a few moments, Julian let Logan in. Let Logan fully in and kissed him back. But only for a few moments. And then Julian pulled back. He turned back to the piano to finish out the song, because this was Julian's closure. He needed to finish something with Logan.

_How to look into your eyes..._

_To let go of your hand..._

_To start another life..._

"It doesn't have to be like this."

"Yes. Yes it does Logan. You don't love me. You never did, you never will."

And then Julian picked himself up and let himself look one last time at the gorgeous blonde boy with the piercing green eyes. And then he walked away and didn't turn back.

Logan sat at the piano bench, letting his hands lightly trail over the keys, trying to feel Julian through the keys.

_I just don't understand._


End file.
